Category Archives: Endings

The Rogue Project

On September 1st, I had every intention of blogging a “Happy New Year!”  post.  It didn’t happen.  Then, the other day, I wanted to post something called “The Leona Papers” (my name is not Leona, but is actually Erika).

Instead, I’m posting the Rogue Project.

How to explain it… well, it’s something like this: get fitter, eat healthier, reduce stress, become smarter.

Ambitious, no?

The Rogue Project isn’t actually new.  In fact, it actually started out as Operation Transformation and was a new year’s resolution that went the way of the dodo bird.  July 2nd forced me to change my focus and actually change my life because, well, it really does boil down to a matter of life or death.  I like steaks.  I like French Fries.  I’m not willing to die for them though.

So I got to thinking, and this is where Leona comes into the equation (Leona is another friend of mine.  A single mum, raising two girls and somehow not totally pulling her hair out doing it).  We had been talking and Leona’s in a bit of a rut.  Work/life can get overwhelming for most of us, I can’t imagine how one tries to keep it together with two kids as well.  And so the story went with Leona: life is in a bit of a rut, food is becoming the companion to turn to for comfort, broke, stressed, well, let’s just say that I can relate.

At first I thought it may be a good idea to suggest one of those 30 day challenges that are making the rounds on the internet, but I remembered the comment on one that said, “Remember, don’t expect a miracle……..it can take 6 months to one year of intense training to build those dream Glutes!”  and so my thoughts on the 30 day challenge are that they are a great way of getting started and making small, generally attainable results, but if you want something to really make an impact, it’s going to take more than 30 days.

So now it was less about Leona and more about Erika.  What does she want?  What does she need?  What will make her less cranky and more at peace in her world?  Of course I want dream glutes!  I also want to be less in debt, or better still, not in debt at all.  I want to be the mistress of my destiny and, as an aside, live with diabetes.

I want to kick ass and take names!

Charcoal

I’m also a realist – I can’t do everything I need or want to do in 30 days.  30 day challenges?  Those are for wimps!  I’m doing a hard-core 365 challenge.

What that really means is that I’m going to lay the foundation over the next year, for how the rest of my life will be.  I will constantly be on the hunt for inspiration and motivation.  I will become accountable by making sure I regularly post.  And learn!  I wasn’t sure that I wanted to continue on with my nutrition certificate, but for the moment, if for no other reason, I will continue to learn and grow if for no one else but myself.

And yes, I’m going to adopt some of those 30 day challenges but the idea, for me, is to not stop after 30 days.

But for the immediate moment, I need to look at my finances, cut out some of the unnecessary expenses and reign in the spending, get off the sofa and get moving more and tackle the next 365 days like no one’s business.

Dare to Jump

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I wanted to write something witty.

The truth is, my heart isn’t going to do witty at the moment.

Dealing with the ‘betes has been crappy enough, but prior to my diagnosis, there was another, equally craptacular diagnosis, that I have been living with: my cat has cancer.

Okay, right off the bat I’m going to say I don’t care if you can’t empathize with me.  If you’ve got nothing nice to say, move right along because I’m not interested in hearing why “it’s not the same” as if it were a human.

So my kitteh was diagnosed back in May, almost three months ago.  It was heartbreaking at first, but we grew into an ease of dealing with the issues, preparing meds with food and the myriad of other things that come up when you have someone ill and need to care for them.

We got into a routine.

But kitteh stopped eating so much these past few days, and even though a special trip to the vet’s was made (I wanted pain killers, vet thought otherwise), kitteh just decided enough was enough. After a call to the vet’s today, the decision, made by a vet and a cat, was to put the beastie’s suffering to an end.

So I’ve been at work for the last couple of hours, trying like made to keep my shit together.  I haven’t eaten since breakfast (which, on the bright side, was late).  I can’t think straight.  I just want to go home and pretend that all of the crap that’s happened in the last few months isn’t happening.  That kitteh, dh and I are all happy, healthy, well adjusted and going to live forever.

It really doesn’t matter how old or young you are, saying goodbye to anyone you love, be it human, feline, canine, equine, whatever, seriously sucks and it hurts like mad.  And there is no cream puff in the world that will make me feel better.

 

Tiggies


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