The last week and a half has been something of a holding pattern for me.
Through it, I’ve been reading other people’s blogs, making the odd comment here and there and generally have been feeling sorry for myself.
But today, something happened. I can’t say it changed the roller coaster of emotions I’ve been feeling, but it put things to perspective, at least for the moment.
The last few days have been spent dealing with a horrific bout of lethargy and exhaustion. I think it can be attributed to my not having done much walking lately, plus I’ve been feeling a wee bit under the weather. I also think it’s because of this oh woe is me thing that I’ve been wallowing in. So along with the lethargy and being totally zapped of any energy, I’m forgetting everything. Monday, it was forgetting to leave out a back up laptop for a co-worker. Tuesday I couldn’t remember to get half of the tasks I needed to get done a work completed. Today though… I forgot supplements and my glucometer at home. Doh!
I knew full well that I wasn’t getting enough food into my system. I could sense my BS dipping. I had that horrible light-headed feeling that comes right before the room starts to spin and the floor sways under your feet and that’s when it hit me. All of those blogs that I read, ones that focus on a life diabetic and are predominantly Type 1, that talk about the struggles with maintaining that balance, getting that perfect reading, counting carbs and the like. The ones that women are trying so hard to get their BG and A1c levels to a “normal” level so they can try and make perfect little babies. Those folks? They can’t forget their glucometers at home. I realised that, even though I have this amazingly captacular disease, there are those that have it worse than me.
My struggles are in coming to terms with my having the ‘betes. Others struggle with not just coming to terms with it, but also with the desire to do things that normal people do – like have babies.
My petulance can sometimes shock even me, and today was one of those days.
So while there will still be moments of petulance, moments of self pity, I truly hope this is a turning point for me. And while there are many people to thank, there is one in particular that I feel I need to acknowledge.
Sarah Wainwright writes a beautiful blog. She’s Type 1 and she finds the positive even in the darkest situations. Her faith sustains her and even though I will never meet her, her kinds words soothed a very ravaged soul this week. Wise beyond her years, through Sarah’s writing, I know I will learn much.
So Sarah, if you read this, thank you. I hope you know you have the power to change people for the good. 🙂