It’s funny, I’ve had a lot of things that I’ve wanted to write, but then I end up looking at another amazing blog and before I know it, time has slipped right by me.
First, it’s been three weeks since I was diagnosed. In that time I’ve been angry, stressed, hungry, cold, tired as all hell, and angry as all hell. But let’s back track to one week ago.
I was sitting at my desk at work and talking to a colleague who knows that I have been recently diagnosed with the ‘betes. She’s an absolutely wonderful soul and I really do feel that she actually cares about what I’m going through. She’s encouraging without giving me the “I have an aunt/brother/sister/cousin/friend/hair dresser/paper boy/etc. that has diabetes, so I know what you’re going through,” spiel. On the other hand, I do have a colleague who, new to the company, joined in the conversation with us. Before I knew it, I was justifying what I had, “eaten for breakfast/lunch/dinner, yes I can eat fruit, I can eat whatever I want, no I don’t drink soda/alcohol” etc. etc. etc. Suffice it to say, I was in tears before long.
I mean, I’ve only been an “in the know” diabetic for two weeks. Sheesh.
But damage has now been done – she went to human resources with concerns that I “wasn’t dealing with the diabetes diagnosis very well.”
In two (now three) weeks, I’ve been pricking my fingers, learning how to count carbs, struggle with emotions that could rival the swings of someone who doesn’t manage their BS/BG very well, relearning everything I thought I knew about nutrition and you want me to keep a freakin’ smile on my face and pretend that all’s well? I’ll get there, of course, but not in two weeks!
I was mortified that she had spoken to HR at all. More so because, I hadn’t even spoken to HR yet. Thanks for letting that cat out of the bag. To continue with that same train of thought, I’m also well pleased that said colleague feels the need to not only check out, but comment on, the nutritional value of my meals. Blerg.
Okay, now that I have that off my chest, on to the “good” stuff!
Since July 1st (note: pre-diagnosis) I have been walking almost regularly to and from work. Sometimes there’s a little more walking, sometimes a little less, but basically, I’m walking about 40 minutes a day for five days (no, I’m not breaking records here, but I’m not sitting my fat ass on a bus either!). I’m eating a relatively vegetarian diet. It needs a lot of work still but Rome wasn’t built in one day either. Oh, and I’ve lost just over 5% of my body weight. There’s a lot more to lose, but I’m still a loser, and that’s alright in my books.
The lethargy. It’s still bugging me but after speaking to my pharmacist (I just may have the greatest pharmacist in the world!) and letting her know that I supplement, I asked her what her thoughts were on adding in a B Complex vitamin. I’ve been taking the B Complex since Saturday and I’m already starting to notice a difference! I’ve stayed up until 10 (Oooh! Such a late night rebel am I!) the last couple of nights, and managed to get up relatively close to when the alarm goes off. And walk to work! There’s still some of that morning fog, and I am by no means bounding full of energy, but I’m starting to feel a little better now, energy wise.
I’m also meditating daily. I keep being told to keep my stress in check, and I know exercise can do that for me, but there is something to be said for taking some time out just reconnect, in a quiet way, with one’s self.
As weird as this is for me to say, I’m actually looking forward to this coming Monday (woo hoo! Long weekend!) when the latest “meditation challenge” from Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey starts.
Finally, I came across Lizzy’s Lounge via another blog I follow. To say that it has become a game changer for me would be to put it mildly. Lizzy has Type 2. Lizzy isn’t a medical professional. Lizzy gets what it’s like to be newly diagnosed and have no idea what to do, where to look for info, rant, cry, and then deal with the ‘betes. I’ve only scratched the surface (and pricked fingers five times so far today!) of her blog, but some seriously awesome advice has been found. Speaking in terms that the lay person can actually understand, I must say that this will be one of the many tools in my arsenal to keep ‘betes my bitch, and not the other way around.
So now that I’m at week three, I think this is the first time, in what actually feels like forever, that I have a bit more hope, and bit more… positivity.
Early days, but need to build on that!