Hints, allegations, and things left unsaid

I meant to write something yesterday, but I sort of got sucked into a void of reading other blogs and doing little bits of research and then it was off to the market for steak (yes, I’m still eating red meat!) and fresh vegetables.  Before I knew it, I was already beyond knackered and I blissfully passed out in bed whilst watching some sort of program on murder and mayhem.

So in usual rambling fashion, I’ll try to put my thoughts in some sort of cohesive manner.  If that doesn’t work, diagrams may be involved.

Monday night I came home to find out that my dietitian’s appointment for Thursday had been cancelled indefinitely.  Part of me wanted to say that it was okay, that I enjoy eating rabbit food and drinking water endlessly.  I can survive on nothing else, right?

I wasn’t feeling terribly charitable though, and made sure I made my feelings known.  It sort of feels like that I’m the only one taking this diabetes thing seriously.  I’m putting that feeling down to my heightened sensitivity to everything at the moment.

After dealing with lack of a dietician, I then got a call from the dentist’s office.  More confusion about what my insurance covers.  More nonsense that I wasn’t wanting to deal with.  Forty-five minutes and two phone calls later, insurance has been sorted out and a more sensible dentist office has been chosen.  I find, right now, my reserve of time and patience for stupidity is at an all time low.

Dinner on Monday consisted of a bag of popchips and a protein shake.  Not my ideal.

Since being diagnosed first on July 2nd, and then again on July 10th, I’ve been walking to and from work.  I’m actually so ridiculously tired that I don’t pay a whole lot of attention to what’s going on around me in the mornings.  Yesterday though, I noticed just how grumpy everyone was looking.  The shocking realization was that I was  probably sporting a similar look, with the exception of me being all red-faced (the joys of being Scandinavian) and sweaty.  I don’t want to look constipated and angry all of the time, and yet, that’s exactly how I’ve been feeling.  Okay, not constipated.  I’m getting too much fibre for those shenanigans.

Regardless of my not wanting to be cranky, I was just that.  And things only got worse when I had to rush over for a 12:15 ultrasound appointment at the hospital.

Apparently someone forgot to mention that the ultrasound appointment had been cancelled.  Odd, considering I had called just last week to reconfirm the appointment.  I was asked if I’d like to rebook my appointments and I believe my answer was something like, “Oh hell no!  I’ve had enough bad news already, and this waste of time trip has just been the icing on my cake.  Thanks, but no.”

I was so tired and miffed that, on the way home I stopped at St. Lawrence Market for a juicy steak, fresh, locally grown asparagus and some other bits and bats.  This is a vast improvement over my usual, let’s call for takeaway instead.

This morning had me feeling like death warmed over, except that I was really cold.  My entire body aches and really I just wanted to stay curled up in bed with my cats, a cuppa and either really bad daytime television, or maybe a book.  I complained vehemently that I didn’t want to walk to work today and was finally allowing myself to take the bus instead.

The bus left without me.

It not only left without me, but I saw it drive away.  As much as I didn’t want to, I started walking.  And then a funny thing happened.  Not only did I see the bus that I missed, but I caught up to it.  And then I passed it!  In fact, I actually got to the bus stop I’d get off at for work before the bus.  Take that!

So today I’m feeling a little better.  I’ve eaten real food, I’m not quite so cold, I’m still walking, still eating healthy and I pray that I’m not just in the honeymoon stage with my blood sugar readings.  That’s got me freaked out on a level I didn’t know existed.

Most importantly, I am amazed by this “little” community of diabetics on here that have welcomed me in to a club none of us wanted to join.

Misery may love company, but I, for one, am getting tired of being miserable.

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About RogueGirl

I like my music loud, drink tea and coffee, adore X-Men, Batman and Spider-Man comics, living straight edge, and studying both nutrition and CompTIA A+ certifications. I am a bit of a nerd. View all posts by RogueGirl

One response to “Hints, allegations, and things left unsaid

  • progressisperfection

    Keep your head up! Things will get better, you will get stronger, and your body will start healing. Keep eating those veggies, some fruit, healthy fats and lean meats; eating right is the hardest part, but I promise it does get easier 🙂

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